Out of Time
by Jedi Sapphire
Summary: Pre-season fic for S9. Spoilers through to 8.23, "Sacrifice", and some spoilers to what we know about the S9 premiere.


**Disclaimer: **Not mine.

**Author's Note: **So we're almost there, and given what we know… I couldn't let it go without one tiny one-shot, could I? :) So here it is.

Many thanks to Cheryl for the beta.

**Spoilers:** Through to the end of S8 and kind of to what we know about the S9 premiere.

**Warnings: **Kind of an ambiguous ending. Only not really because we know how it has to end. Also, no plot.

**Summary: **A little pre-season fic for S9. That's all.

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**Out of Time**

Somewhere out there, there's a world.

With people in it. And fallen Angels. And Charlie and Crowley and Kevin and Castiel and Abaddon.

Dean doesn't care.

His world is here, reduced to a hospital room and IV lines and the blinking red numbers that measure Sam's life.

This isn't the first time he's felt the gut-wrenching agony of envisioning a world without Sam, and it's even worse than he remembers. If anyone had told him all those years ago that he'd think what happened at Cold Oak was _good_…

But it _was_good, in comparison to this. Sam was in his arms, and they were kneeling in the mud together, and if Sam didn't know anything else, at least he knew how important he was to his big brother.

Stull Cemetery, Dean doesn't even want to think about. He and Sam were at odds for so long before that, that when it came to the moment Dean couldn't find the words to say everything he needed to. _I love you_ and _I need you_ and _God, Sammy, let the whole damn world burn but don't jump_. He thought at the time that Sam understood, that Sam didn't need telling, but now he's wondering if he was just deceiving himself.

Now, though, there's no question of deceit. Sam said it, in that church. Dean can't pretend he doesn't know how Sam felt. And the thought that he came close – so close – to losing Sam with Sam thinking Dean liked Cas and Benny better than him…

Dean squeezes the limp hand he's holding and whispers, "For a college boy, you're a moron, Sammy."

It's not over. He might still lose Sam.

Dean shuts his eyes against the threatening tears. He can't help Sam if he loses it. And he can't think about Sam dying and not lose it, so…

Sam's not going to die. That's all there is to it. Sam isn't allowed to die.

"You're not allowed to die," Dean says. "I'm older, and that means I get to tell you what to do. You're not _allowed_to die."

Sam doesn't say anything, but a throat is cleared behind him.

Dean turns. The doctor is standing there.

"We have the lab results," he says.

Dean gets to his feet without letting go of Sam's hand. He has an irrational feeling that if he does, Sam'll take it as permission to go.

"I'm sorry," the doctor goes on, without waiting for Dean to respond. "I wish I had better news for you. There's nothing we can do for him now except keep him comfortable. It won't be long."

Dean swallows. And asks the question, because it has to be asked, however little he wants to hear the answer. "How… how long?"

"A few hours, maybe." He hesitates, and then he adds, "I don't think he'll wake up, but if he does, try to be cheerful. It'll be harder for him if he knows you're upset."

Dean almost laughs at the irony. Sam wasn't expecting Dean to be upset over him dying. Oh, no. Sam was expecting him to say, "Oh well, at least we got rid of Crowley," and then go have a party with freaking _Cas_.

Maybe Sam's still expecting that. The idea makes bile rise in Dean's throat, but he has to face it. Sam's been out of it, and Dean has no idea how much he remembers of their conversation in the church. For all Dean knows, Sam still thinks…

Dean squeezes Sam's hand again.

If his fourteen-year-old self could see him being such a girl, his fourteen-year-old self would…

Kick his ass, probably, for letting it come to this, for letting it come to Sam dying – _Sam dying_ – and maybe thinking Dean doesn't care.

"You don't get to die," Dean says again. "Not like this, Sammy."

"Do you… do you need a priest?" the doctor asks uncertainly.

"No," Dean growls, because they don't need a priest.

They've seen the Angels of the Lord, and Dean would entrust Sam's soul to a back alley drunk before he'd entrust it to _them_. As for _God_, disappearing and leaving them to clean up his messes, taking it out of poor Sammy when the kid's only fault was trying too hard… If Dean sees a priest in here, he won't be answerable for his actions.

"All right," the doctor says. "Press the call button if you need anything."

He's gone, and Dean's alone with his dying brother.

Methodically, Dean lists his options.

Make a deal. No. He can't go there again. There's nothing, _nothing_, he wouldn't do for Sam, and that includes selling his soul to the highest bidder, but the fallout of a demon deal is going to be harder on Sam than on anyone else.

Call Death. No. He has nothing to bargain with this time, and Death's a contrary son of a bitch. He might take Sammy ahead of schedule just to punish Dean for wasting his time.

Call an Angel.

Dean laughs at that.

Then, because when it comes to Sam's life he's willing to beg, he says, "Cas, can you hear me? Look, I don't know what went down, but I need you. Sam's dying." There's no response, and Dean says again, louder, "Sammy's _dying_, Cas."

Still nothing.

"Naomi? Please, if you can hear me… Help him. _Please._"

Nothing.

Dean bites his lip and whispers, "Come on, Sam. _Fight._"

Somewhere, some part of him believes that if Sam really wants to, if Sam fights hard enough, he'll beat even this. Sam beat Lucifer. Sam survived two hundred years of the Cage. Sam… He's _Sam_.

But Sam's not fighting. Dean can sense that. Sammy's given up, and that's so wrong that Dean shudders.

Sam doesn't give up. Sam's _never_given up.

Sam's always had enough faith for both of them.

And Dean knows, Dean's always known, that he needs Sammy's faith. He doesn't know how to live without it.

If Sam dies, Dean's dying, too.

If Sam dies, revenge won't matter.

If Sam dies…

Dean pushes the thought away. Sam isn't going to die. He doesn't have Dean's permission to die. It would be just like the little bitch to run away and leave Dean to deal with the aftermath – to leave Dean to deal with a world without his baby brother in it.

"You win," he says aloud, his last, desperate hope. "You're trying to prove a point, aren't you? I was being nicer to Cas and Benny than to you, and you decided to throw a tantrum. We all know nobody sulks like Sam Winchester." Dean sits heavily on the edge of the bed. "Fine. You wanted to scare the crap out of me and you've done it. You're more important to me than any of them, that what you wanted to hear?" Dean can't keep his voice from shaking. "You're _everything_, Sammy. Sammy, I killed Benny for you. I'd do it again. I'd kill anyone or anything for you. Just… Please." He lowers his voice to keep it from breaking. "Please don't leave me."

Sam gives no sign of hearing.

Dean's eyes sting, and he blinks back the tears angrily. There is absolutely no need to cry, because Sam's not dying. He's just being a brat, seeing how much he can make Dean beg. Sam's not going to die, and when he wakes up Dean's going to kick his ass for scaring him so much.

And then they're going to have a _long_talk, because the next time Dean points out that Sam's risking death, Sam's response had damn well better be something other than, "So?"

"Sammy," Dean whispers. "_Please._"

Sam doesn't react, and Dean nearly breaks down.

He knows that if he can get through to Sam, if he can make Sam _hear_him, Sam'll fight. Sam's pissed, yeah, and Sam can brood for all of humanity, but Sam can't hold a grudge against Dean.

And that's the worst thing. Dean could persuade Sam to fight, if he could get through to him. But Dean has no idea how to get through to him.

He's out of ideas, and soon he's going to be out of time.

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What did you think? Good? Bad? Please review!

Also, enjoy the premiere! I will (hopefully) be back after it with episode tags.


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